Friday, January 29, 2010

Prayers of the Devout

What must it be like to pray 5 times a day?: Not the 20 thousand prayers I say a day, “oh god help me”, but a sustained focused prayer. Is it mind control or freedom? I would think it is the nature of the prayer said, the intensions and the words and thoughts. It must be an intense mind focus. Then again it could be a mindless ritual, both in the best and worst sense.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010


Frantically I attend to the administration of my life. Wow, administration, keeping it all together. My soul wants to float in the clouds, drink in the light reflecting off trees, and feel the love of my family. The pressure of the low-cost producers in the information systems global economy are beating down against me like the deluge of storms we’ve had the last few days here in Southern California. In China, I’m told, they don’t even factor in the labor cost. I want to dream, life wants me awake producing. Face forward, embrace, and do. And look up and see the light on trees.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Incoherent babble bubbles up in my mind

Time moves again. 5:45 am I walk outside and see in the sky, a morning, dark blue gradation with a sliver of moon hanging in the sky.

Time slips by

Incoherent babble bubbles up in my mind. There is no safety, no security. Plans can be made, courses charted, but the future, and the folding of in time is unknown: the true reality show.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

New Meeting Notes

It is Admin week at one of the schools I teach at. The interaction with other faculty is great: many ideas, experiances and thoughts shared. The meeting part almost always leaves my head spun into a twisted knot. No exception this time

On Being a Ghost

My Wife and I went to see the Rembrandt drawing show at the Getty Center in Los Angeles. I enjoyed viewing these exquisite works. We also viewed the Irving Penn “Small Trades” photographs. These too were terrific because of the blend of excellent design and a great revelation of the character of each person’s photographed and their occupation. Afterward we wanted a place to have a snack. We did know where to go. We drove around West LA with no guidance except the memories of 20 year past of being in West Wood and Century City and having fun. We went to those places and found we were ghosts of the past looking for what had been. No crowds of young people on a Saturday night enjoying West Wood. The mall in Century City no longer sported trendy designer digs. It had been remodeled into an overcrowded, trash filled, average shopping mall. Time had passed, and our memories no longer existed in the real world. It made me feel very uncomfortable with the weight of time pressing hard into my chest as I did not belong there. Finally, we drove to Culver City and its emerging night life. The air was lighter and my chest could expand. Still we didn’t find a coffee/dessert place, so we ended up at Tito’s Tacos, also in Culver City and ate there.