Sea of the Self

Lost in the sea of the self, this where I want to be. But the rigors of daily life keep smacking me awake. The outside world is meaningful. The kids, my family, and freindships, relationships with the world. This moment that will never be again. But the turmoil of the March madness of twisted problems blown in a gusty cold wind around my head, this I want to escape from and slip into the sea of the inner self.

Spring Fever

Daylight savings time began….earthquake at 4:10 am….awake with a slightly askew perspective. The weather has turned hot….everyone is giggly. Spring fever is here.

Another Sunday Morning

Another Sunday morning, I love the quiet before the world wakes up. I can hear my mind think and my soul speak. Life is filled with foreground blasts of dense information and distraction: a tightly woven fabric with no room for empty space and quiet. There are just too many emails selling Viagra to delete. The thing with over activity and over stimulation of mind is that unless you’re pointed in the right direction you’re just digging dirt, making holes that you’ll have to fill back up. True sometimes the circus show is a delight, I just get dizzy and off balance from too much.

Evening Moon

Felt the pressures of life as I walked in the evening dusk. The moon rose in the sky and smiled for a moment.
Still pressures are not as heavy

Vortex

Bouncing through life and the tasks are getting done. You’re thinking everything is ok, never mind that terror in gut you feel every morning at 4 Am., that’s just your body shocking you into action for the day. Then you make a slightly left turn, you could have chosen to go straight or right, and you are thrown into an emotional vortex of spinning. You feel out of control. But the body has a solution for you. You catch a cold and you rest and things balance out.

5:58 am Sunday Morning

5:58 am Sunday Morning, quiet, only the tick of the second hand of the clock as it makes its way around and around is heard. Then the sound of the heater starting begins. There is something very comforting about the sound of that heater. It is like an old friend who makes you feel safe. We are speeding so fast through the cosmos that relational anchors, like the sound of the heater, provide signposts to help place us, ground us in our lives. Sometimes I feel like I could spin off into the great unknown, but not the unknown of a great adventure, but the unknown, of being separated from the self, from the people and things I love. Part of this is just the movement of live. Everything is in motion and our position to everything is in constant flux. This is the flow of the multi-dimensional river of life again. The heater turned off. I hear the sound of my daughter breathing in her sleep.

To Do Lists

Every Day I write to do Lists. Some days these guys show up on them.