Fear & Beauty

I hear the morning quiet, a moment of peace from the clamor of life. I woke up with a fear in my gut, a deep feeling of loss of place in the universe. That fear of death thing again. We are all so small and so large at the same time. We are the center of the universe and only a small speck in it. I feel a flow of meaning to being here and we are the ones who give meaning to life. No wonder we all escape into all the diversions of email, television, overeating and addictions. We don’t want to feel the pain. Yet in every moment there is beauty. In a doctor’s office we are told of a relative’s cancer and I see the most beautiful piece light filtering through the window blinds. Maybe the heightened awareness of the moment that lets in the pain also lets in the wonder.