Thursday, December 30, 2010
This year has been like the first part of pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey; blind-folded, spun around, and given tasks to do. I’m happy to have a few moments to rest, plan, and look ahead. Looking back, we were in San Francisco for a few days this week where we rode MUNI way too much and I drank too much espresso. One of the highlights was Fort Point. This is a national park site right under the Golden Gate Bridge. Dramatic views of the bridge, the City and ocean. The sea roars against the rocks up onto the pavement. And a few surfers were riding waves there.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
The sea in my belly is whipped by the storm of a funnel cloud of fear which feeds on itself. The tiny boat sheltering the self is pushed around in the storm’s waves. The winds of outside duties bang against the vessel. The only hope is to take refuge in the clam eye of the tempest, let the fears subside and tend to the tasks at hand.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
As a middle aged man with middle class life I run outside in the predawn morning to put out the garbage before the trash squeals down the street to pick it up. I look up at the morning moon and stars and they smile, inviting me to dance with them. I smile back and I’m dancing in a eternity that lasts only a few moments as I’m called back to the house and the duties of a middle aged man in a middle class life.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Fragments float around the mind in a fuzzy focus of fog on the sea of consciousness. No complete sentences or thoughts. Just pieces bobbing together. They drift in and out until one of them screams for immediate attention. Then the body acts. The emergency subsides. Now go back to enjoying the flow.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
The ghosts orange of October haunt me inside and out. There is so much to keep up with. I want to hide under the covers and just sleep. But the outside world calls with it demands, I answer for I know that not doing so brings pain. Awake.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
We learned a new work attitude and philosophy called”Fish” at a company meeting held near the ocean in Newport Beach, CA. The philosophy is about having fun and making someone’s day by throwing metaphorical (or real) fish at them. It’s ok to throw the fish as long as you choose your attitude; Smiling good, frowning bad.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
This foggy morning blankets the inward directed thoughts. To linger in this slowly drifting, floating mental state a little longer would be oh so nice. I’ve already wrote today’s to do list. The to do’s magnetic pull is tugging my mind in their direction. Are they a lighthouse guiding the journey from the siren song of pleasurable disaster? Or just the fence that keeps life in check in the artificial safety of self imposed normalcy? For myself I need both the fog and the map.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Summer has slipped into fall. I know the calendar still says summer, but the world around says fall. The kids are back in school and the weather is cooler. The daylight is getting shorter. I see football on TV and signs of Halloween are popping up. Transition and change again as I want hold onto something stable, but change is the only outside world constant. So I let go of summer to be in the fall with all its variations. Begin again.
Monday, August 30, 2010
My peaceful sleep is interrupted by the lightning bolts of anxiety in my gut. 2:44 am, Oh crap what am I forgetting to do? My inner universe is a storm. So I clean the studio. As I walk outside to throw away the trash I hear the sounds of late summer insects singing their songs to the approaching change of seasons. The outer universe of early morning is calm and quiet. A few stars wink at me knowingly seeming to say,” You fool, all is well, just do the next step.” So I close the trash can lid, walk back into the house and plan the day and week. My inner storm calms and clears a bit.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
As I awoke this morning I saw the moon hanging low in the sky glowing through the trees. The color of a light low saturated violet surrounded it. The day begins with its tasks to do. What will I hold in mind today? Will it be the morning moon or the knot of worry in my gut? Which will fuel the doing of the tasks and my experience of the day? Worry can make me jump into action, but can make a troubled tortured experience. Moon glow is so nice to stand and drink in, but I can get so lost in it that no work gets done. Is there a way to use worry as the kick starter and moon beams as the internal experience as the jobs are performed?
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Sunday morning. It’s really time for some slow, not go. Yet I know, the get go, is just around the corner. I can feel it whispering in the breeze. But as Ram Das said, “Be here now.” So I will rest in the silence of the morning even as the compass of my interior world is being pulled to the starting line. Exhale.
PS this is blog post number 100
Monday, August 9, 2010
Fractured and spacey that is what the last week had been. Maybe it’s the nature of August with its sun and people vacationing and the transition into fall oh so slightly around the corner. I saw a surfing contest and a play about turning 13. Funny if I was turning 13 the surfing contest would have been so important to me. Now it was just interesting to see the visual drama of people, venders, waves and sand. But this is a new week with new adventures. I turn my focus forward to embrace and create this week.
Monday, August 2, 2010
The same old fears and anxieties haunt me. Things like the speed at which time passes and the dichotomy of the knot of fear in my stomach juxtaposed against the beauty of the quiet of the morning with its elusive low light that oh so slowly becomes the brightness of day and the soft breeze that touches the side of my face. Beauty is here for a moment then the worries inside overshadow. Yet, the anxieties feel like the choppy sea on the surface of the ocean which at its depths is calm.
Ok so much for the inner reflections, if you are near Downtown San Diego, Ca try eating at Blue Water Seafood on India Street. It is a bit of a dive, but the fish is oh so good. http://www.bluewater.sandiegan.com/
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Quiet Saturday morning and the house is still asleep. The thoughts and ghosts in the mind of have faded to the background. The “Now” has moved forward on the stage. I’ll blink and the rush of day will take over. But for now I’ll drink in and be nourished by the moment and remember to come back to it, the now, in the rush later.