My peaceful sleep is interrupted by the lightning bolts of anxiety in my gut. 2:44 am, Oh crap what am I forgetting to do? My inner universe is a storm. So I clean the studio. As I walk outside to throw away the trash I hear the sounds of late summer insects singing their songs to the approaching change of seasons. The outer universe of early morning is calm and quiet. A few stars wink at me knowingly seeming to say,” You fool, all is well, just do the next step.” So I close the trash can lid, walk back into the house and plan the day and week. My inner storm calms and clears a bit.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
As I awoke this morning I saw the moon hanging low in the sky glowing through the trees. The color of a light low saturated violet surrounded it. The day begins with its tasks to do. What will I hold in mind today? Will it be the morning moon or the knot of worry in my gut? Which will fuel the doing of the tasks and my experience of the day? Worry can make me jump into action, but can make a troubled tortured experience. Moon glow is so nice to stand and drink in, but I can get so lost in it that no work gets done. Is there a way to use worry as the kick starter and moon beams as the internal experience as the jobs are performed?
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Sunday morning. It’s really time for some slow, not go. Yet I know, the get go, is just around the corner. I can feel it whispering in the breeze. But as Ram Das said, “Be here now.” So I will rest in the silence of the morning even as the compass of my interior world is being pulled to the starting line. Exhale.
PS this is blog post number 100
Monday, August 9, 2010
Fractured and spacey that is what the last week had been. Maybe it’s the nature of August with its sun and people vacationing and the transition into fall oh so slightly around the corner. I saw a surfing contest and a play about turning 13. Funny if I was turning 13 the surfing contest would have been so important to me. Now it was just interesting to see the visual drama of people, venders, waves and sand. But this is a new week with new adventures. I turn my focus forward to embrace and create this week.
Monday, August 2, 2010
The same old fears and anxieties haunt me. Things like the speed at which time passes and the dichotomy of the knot of fear in my stomach juxtaposed against the beauty of the quiet of the morning with its elusive low light that oh so slowly becomes the brightness of day and the soft breeze that touches the side of my face. Beauty is here for a moment then the worries inside overshadow. Yet, the anxieties feel like the choppy sea on the surface of the ocean which at its depths is calm.
Ok so much for the inner reflections, if you are near Downtown San Diego, Ca try eating at Blue Water Seafood on India Street. It is a bit of a dive, but the fish is oh so good. http://www.bluewater.sandiegan.com/